He Sees It: How the World Treats Women

The other day I was at a local public swimming pool sitting in the sun, worrying about getting a sunburn, realizing that wearing my sunglasses made it possible to people watch without people feeling watched. Most importantly my son was having a wonderful time and meeting new friends. The day was lovely and coolish.

But something happened that has stuck with me all week.
There was a young girl walking toward me on the tarmac, walking past the Lazy River. I saw this older guy with grey chest hair and an inner tube around his waste looking at this girl. Not just looking at her but raking his eyes over her. In fact, the word raking is an absolutely perfect word to describe what his eyes did to this very young girl.

My body went stone cold.

John is the super white kid
next to the girl's classmate...
to give you an idea of his age.

A little bit later my son told me that the girl in question is twelve years old, he'd met her in the climbing wall like with a young pool friend; John's school friend and the girl were in the same class at school. John said Look at the size of that girl's breasts, Mom. Life is not going to treat her well. And MEN! I feel sad for her.  I did too. She was only twelve and already getting these vile looks.

A little bit later John and I were in the car listening to NPR's story about women in Turkey getting abuse and even public physical conflict for the slightest cultural infraction of modesty, from showing a wrist to smiling in public. How do you women do it, John asked, how do you do it?


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Want to read more?
A Letter to my Son
Seven Stages of Man
Heart Outside of My Body
He's So Scawy